CHOMSKY: THE MOTION PICTURE.

Thanks to a comment by ben wolfson, I present you with the preview for a forthcoming linguistic thriller:

“CHOMSKY”
THE MOTION PICTURE
Announcer: The English Language is about to E*X*P*L*O*D*E!
No refuge is safe from linguistic peril!
Mom: Here, I brought up “Gravity’s Rainbow” for a goodnight story.
Kid: Aw, Mom! Why did you bring that book I don’t want to be read to out of up for?
Mom: Aiiiiieeee! My brane is melting!
Announcer: A secret government agency must find a new ally…
MIB: Mr. Chomsky? We need your help with a linguistic crisis.
I’m with intelligence….

Go on, read the whole thing, you know you want to. But don’t blame me, blame Stephen Will Tanner, who is solely responsible. I’d better provide the disclaimer in case you need it before you reach the end:

MOST OF THE JOKES IN THIS POST WERE BOTH OBSCURE AND TENUOUS.
THEREFORE, WE ARE PROVIDING PHONE “HUMOR TECH-SUPPORT”.
((ring))((ring))((ring))((ring))*click*
This is 1-800-KIB-OLUV. If you do not understand an acronym,
press 1 now. If you are having trouble with a running gag, press 2.
If you need support on pre-1993 jokes, press 3. Harry Claude Cat’s
posts are Not Funny, so if you are calling about them, please hang up
now.
Woody Allen: And if I wanted a girl to explain Chomsky to me?
Woman: It’d cost you.

Comments

  1. Why did you bring that book I don’t want to be read to out of up for?
    [*Ahem*] It should be what, at the start.

  2. The Woody Allen reference in the disclaimer isn’t quite right. It’s from a short story of his called The Whore of Mensa, and it goes like so:

    “Suppose I wanted to have a party?” I said.
    “Like, what kind of a party?”
    “Suppose I wanted Noam Chomsky explained to me by two girls?”
    “Oh, wow.”

    “It’d cost you” does come in reference to the same request, though.

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