Jack Shafer has done a follow-up on the “bus plunge” piece I wrote about here; it turns out the headline for the “bisexual snail” story is probably unrecoverable:

Tina Orzoco of ProQuest valiantly searched the company’s vast databases in an attempt to locate the hed for Allan M. Siegal’s favorite K-hed of all time—”Most snails are both male and female, according to the Associated Press.” Orzoco failed, Siegal writes, because timeless filler such as the snail story ran in early editions only, “and was replaced thereafter by live news. And the microfilm edition of the Times—now the basis of ProQuest—was the final edition.”

But on the brighter side, Bernard Adelsberger guarantees that the old Philadelphia Bulletin once published this K-hed:

No Blood in Ants
Ants have no blood.


  1. I am sure the reason is absolutely different, but NYT keeps extolling us to “Remember the neediest!”

  2. January First-of-May says

    Это очень интересно –
    Поглядеть на муравья,
    Это очень интересно,
    Как живёт его семья?
    Нелегко живётся ей,
    Потому что меньше кошки,
    Меньше мухи, меньше мошки,
    Всех он меньше, муравей!

    …The Yunna Morits poem that these lines come from is apparently a good deal shorter than I thought; out of the 34 canonical lines, there are only 7 that I did not recall already. (And they’re about the worst parts of the poem, unfortunately, which meant my imaginary version of the poem was a good deal better than the reality/)
    I do not know whether there’s any English translation, either.

  3. I just provided archived links to the Jack Shafer pieces linked here and in the original Bus Plunge post; they still make me laugh and reminisce.

  4. David Eddyshaw says

    Ach, the disappointment. I thought this would be the title of a summer blockbuster movie. With Bruce Willis, or at least Vin Diesel.

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