Guess What Language I’m Speaking.

April 6, 2023 by 42 Comments

An eleven-and-a-half-minute video that is accurately summed up by the title. I did better than some of the contestants but worse than others; it was a lot of fun, and I learned a couple of insults. Thanks, Eric!

Comments

  1. Rasmus Underbjerg Pinnerup says
    April 6, 2023 at 6:56 pm

    Hold on a minute – isn’t that a uvular ejective stop ([qʼ]) at 6:29, when the Lebanese Arabic speaker says “I love to eat labneh”? AFAIK, neither Modern Standard Arabic nor Lebanese Arabic (nor indeed neighbouring dialects) are supposed to have ejective stops. Does anyone know what’s going on here?

  2. languagehat says
    April 6, 2023 at 9:25 pm

    I noticed that too! I was thinking “Circassian influence??”

  3. Y says
    April 6, 2023 at 9:56 pm

    All of them speak unaccented English, too.

  4. Y says
    April 6, 2023 at 11:24 pm

    I just realized that /q/ is preserved as such in Lebanese Arabic only in Druze dialects. Elsewhere it’s [ʔ], as in urban Palestinian Arabic.

  5. Vanya says
    April 7, 2023 at 12:07 am

    I was surprised that the Bosnian guy was speaking „Bosnian“. I have a decent passive knowledge of standard BSCM, have lived in Sarajevo and hear Bosnians conversing casually on public transport in Vienna all the time. But I had no idea what that guy was saying, I would have guessed some Macedonian mountain dialect.

    And just to stereotype, his demeanor seemed to me very Bulgarian/Romanian, not very South Slavic.

  6. drasvi says
    April 7, 2023 at 5:14 am

    <i<([qʼ]) at 6:29</i< – the word has etymological /k/, but I have no idea why it is realised this way (or even how exactly it is realised: need to relisten to it in my headphones). Also most of Lebanese that I heard was Fairuz, I'm no expert:)

    And… not only i did not realise that the guy is speaking Bosnian, I didn't even recognise Slavic at first. (But I could: if it sounded like an improvised invented language, then the phoneme inventory must be familiar…).
    And I have been to Montenegro and Serbia and heard many Bosnians:-)

    (the exchange about “Asian” made me want to sigh. Ethnicity is just ethnicity, people. What if the guy were Siberian Yupik? All right, I am of coruse not in the position to teach anyone how to resolve such tensions: Russia is openly racist (as opposed to less openly racist) and I’m just a person who takes individual snesitivities much more seriously than group sensitivities. I don’t understand in groups of more than two. And yet sigh.)

  7. drasvi says
    April 7, 2023 at 5:30 am

    ((I thought: “Sicilian? No, I heard Sicilian, if it were Sicilian I wouldn’t understand much…”))

  8. languagehat says
    April 7, 2023 at 7:51 am

    What if the guy were Siberian Yupik?

    I actually guessed the guy was speaking something from eastern Siberia, though I couldn’t have pinned it down to Yupik.

  9. Andrej Bjelaković says
    April 7, 2023 at 12:30 pm

    I was surprised that the Bosnian guy was speaking „Bosnian“

    To me it was definitely and immediately recognizable as Bosnian, but I’d say the speaker was either born in North America or moved there as a young child.

  10. Vanya says
    April 7, 2023 at 4:29 pm

    but I’d say the speaker was either born in North America or moved there as a young child.

    That would also explain why his affect seems so atypical for a Bosnian.

  11. Y says
    April 7, 2023 at 7:42 pm

    About my comment on “unaccented English” (meaning “AmE, showing no traces of the phonology of the other language”): I am not placing the Yupiq guy’s accent. It’s not quite Reservation English from the lower 48. I don’t know if it’s specifically “Yupiq English” or something else.

  12. Y says
    April 7, 2023 at 8:46 pm

    I listened to the “ejective”, and looked at the waveform. I’d call it a fortis [k̠], i.e. with a louder burst, but no glottalization. The VOT is about 7 ms. The phrase is something like [ænæbħab ʔɛːk̠öᵊl labnæ].

  13. drasvi says
    April 7, 2023 at 10:09 pm

    أكل
    I hear somehting that sounds like a contact of tongue with something wet and soft, like in q, but without headphones…

  14. Stu Clayton says
    April 7, 2023 at 11:55 pm

    What’s the technical term for the familiar sound: “contact of tongue with something wet and soft but without headphones” ? I’m surprised to infer that apparently some people put headphones on it before proceeding. That too needs a scientific name.

  15. drasvi says
    April 8, 2023 at 12:32 am

    ..but without the headphones I’m not sure in anything.

    Sorry for making wet sounds…

  16. drasvi says
    April 8, 2023 at 1:15 am

    Human mouth is soft and wet. When you shift the place of articulation back in your mouth from /k/ you feel a softer surface. There was an Armenian radio joke where a listener asks why he responded correctly and yet did not win the quiz ‘how well we now the woman’. “the Armenian radio answers: the first question was ‘what the woman craves for most of all?’. The correct answer is ‘mir vo vsyom mire [peace in the whole world]’. And what did you answer, comrade Ivanov? The next question was ‘what is the main [or most important] organ of the woman?’. The correct answer is ‘the mazazine Rabotnitsa’, and what did you answer, comrade Ivanov? The third question was ‘where the woman has curly hair?’ The correct answer is ‘in Ethiopia’, and what did you say, comrade Ivanov?”

  17. Stu Clayton says
    April 8, 2023 at 3:12 am

    “What is wet and hairy and wears headphones?”

  18. drasvi says
    April 8, 2023 at 3:38 am

    oops. it was not “the correct answer is”.
    It was “comrade Sarkisian answered ‘in Ethiopia’. And what did you…”.
    And the joke began with “why Sarkisian and not me won the quiz, when my answers were correct”.

  19. Stu Clayton says
    April 8, 2023 at 6:30 am

    I will never again don headphones. You don’t know where they’ve been. Ear plugs are out too.

    As every Easter, I will be listening to Messiaen, but this time at full blast for hygienic reasons.

  20. PlasticPaddy says
    April 8, 2023 at 6:40 am

    @drasvi
    Is part of the joke that (a) the competition was rigged to allow an ethnic Armenian to win or (b) that Russians have “dirty minds” (or alternately, that Armenians are too slow to recognise double entendres)?

  21. drasvi says
    April 8, 2023 at 7:04 am

    @PP, I just tried to reproduce it accurately (honestly, it is not a joke I ever heard. It was published in a collection of jokes, I guess I remember it because the answer “in Ethiopia” amused me) but no, I have no idea what was implied by these two surnames. Maybe the author just thought two different ethnicities are funnier.
    Also it was Petrosian, not Sarkisian:)

  22. John Cowan says
    April 8, 2023 at 12:13 pm

    The next question was ‘what is the main [or most important] organ of the woman?’. The correct answer is ‘the mazazine Rabotnitsa’

    That got me interested in the second meaning of organ. In English we have party organ for the official magazine of a (minority, usually left-wing) party and house organ for the official magazine of a corporation written for its employees, but not usually just organ by itself for ‘magazine’. The answer, per the OED, is that it is short for organ of communication, and that organ originally referred in English to a musical instrument of any sort. (The keyboard instrument was originally an organs, as in the Second Nun’s Tale (from The Canterbury Tales), but Chaucer also uses organ in the singular form in the Nun’s Priest’s Tale.) In Augustine’s commentary on Psalm 56, he writes “organa dicuntur omnia instrumenta musicorum; non solum illud organum dicitur, quod grande est et inflatur follibus; sed quidquid aptatur ad cantilenam, et corporeum est, quo instrumento utitur qui cantat, organum dicitur”, which the OED s.v. organ translates thus: ‘All musical instruments are called organa. Not alone is that called [an] organum, which is large and inflated by bellows, but whatever is fitted to accompany singing, and is corporeal, which he who sings uses as an instrument, is called [an] organum.’

    In fact we can pretty much say that organum is Greek for all the senses of instrumentum. In Edward Hall’s 1548 history of the Wars of the Roses (one of Shakespeare’s main sources), he calls an enchantress an organ of the Devil, and as late as 1806 the American Congregationalist minister and politician Manasseh Cutler called himself an organ: “I am now, in compliance with the order of this ecclesiastical council, and as their organ, to address you the solemn charge.” From this usage we get the organs of speaking, hearing, digestion, elimination, reproduction, etc., the last being known elliptically as the male and female organs.

    Also it was Petrosian, not Sarkisian

    In principle, yes.

  23. Y says
    April 8, 2023 at 12:25 pm

    In Modern Hebrew, shofar is used derogatorily as ‘mouthpiece’, i.e. a person, a newspaper, etc. parroting and disseminating messages from someone in power.

  24. David Eddyshaw says
    April 8, 2023 at 2:28 pm

    Lord Gnome, the proprietor of Private Eye, consistently refers to it as his Organ. (Or, at least, his shofar E. Strobes does. The Great Man does not usually communicate with the masses directly.)

  25. Stu Clayton says
    April 8, 2023 at 2:48 pm

    In fact we can pretty much say that organum is Greek for all the senses of instrumentum.

    To my uncertain knowledge, ὄργανον is Greek for the “tool” sense of organum, cf. Latinized Aristotle and Frank Bacon. From there to instrumentum is but one (organ) stop.

    It seems to me that both A. (or rather the compilers who invented the title) and B. are talking about toolboxes.

  26. Stu Clayton says
    April 8, 2023 at 3:05 pm

    That is, tools for thought.

  27. Brett says
    April 8, 2023 at 4:45 pm

    The sense of organ related to magazines is the OED‘s 5. c.:

    A means or medium of communication, or of expression of opinion; esp. a periodical which serves as the mouthpiece of a particular political party, cause, movement, etc.

    However, in the context of the U. S. S. R., it seems to overlap with the sense 5. a.:

    A means of action or operation, an instrument; (now) esp. a person, body of people, or thing by which some purpose is carried out or some function is performed.

    I associate with usage particularly with the organs of a totalitarian state, and even more particularly with a communist state. (This is not borne out by the OED‘s citations for this sense, but they actually only have one citation from after 1920, so that’s not too surprising.) It is common to speak of the NKVD and other “Stalinist organs” of oppression, and calling Pravda a “propaganda organ” would actually seem to be a combination of the two senses (the “function” to be performed being the production and dissemination of propaganda).

  28. Y says
    April 8, 2023 at 5:19 pm

    Inside info from a company that builds custom pipe organs for churches is that those guys know every double-entendre organ joke there is. Not unexpected, but worth noting. Even church organs are not quite so holey.

  29. drasvi says
    April 8, 2023 at 5:58 pm

    “every double-entendre” – that is, music and the print organ of ?

    “not holey” yes, definititely not music vs. reproductive organs. Those are holy and worshipped in many religions!

    (cf. Nie spojrzawszy nań, wszedłem do sali, jeszcze pustawej, i dech mi zaparł widok stołów, nie dlatego, że były suto zastawione, lecz szokujące były formy, w jakich podano wszystkie pasztety, przystawki i zakąski – nawet sałatki stanowiły imitację genitaliów. O złudzeniu optycznym nie było mowy, bo dyskretnie ukryte głośniki nadawały popularny w pewnych kręgach szlagier, zaczynający się od słów: «Tylko głupiec i kanalia lekceważy genitalia, bo najbardziej jest dziś modne reklamować części rodne!»)

  30. drasvi says
    April 8, 2023 at 7:00 pm

    Or else:

    Im Vorraum nahten sich mir zwei bezaubernde Mädchen in Pumphosen, oben ohne, die Brust mit Vergißmeinnicht und Schneeglöckchen bemalt. Die beiden überreichten mir ein glänzendes Faltblatt. Ich sah es gar nicht an und betrat den Saal. Er war noch fast leer; der Anblick der Festtafel benahm mir den Atem, nicht weil sie üppig gedeckt war, nein, schockierend wirkten die Formen aller Pasteten, Vorspeisen und Beilagen. Sogar die Salate waren Geschlechtsteilen nachgebildet. Von optischer Täuschung konnte keine Rede sein, denn aus diskret versteckten Lautsprechern drang ein in gewissen Kreisen beliebter Schlager, der mit den Worten beginnt: »Wer heut nicht für Geschlechtsteil wirbt, ein Hundsfott, der’s Geschäft verdirbt, denn heut ist jedem angenehm das Urogenitalsystem«.

    Ve foyeru ke mně přistoupily dvě okouzlující dívky v širokých zdrhnutých kalhotách topless, s ňadry pomalovanými pomněnkami a sněženkami, aby mi odevzdaly třpytivou pozvánku. Aniž jsem se na ni podíval, vstoupil jsem do sálu ještě poloprázdného — a pohled na stoly mi vyrazil dech. Ne proto, že byly bohatě prostřeny, ale proto, jak šokující byly formy, ve kterých se podávaly všechny paštiky, předkrmy a zákusky — dokonce i saláty imitovaly genitálie. Nebyla to optická iluze, v jistých kruzích populární šlágr, který začínal slovy: „Jenom hlupák, kanálie podceňuje genitálie. Nedbej řečí šosáckých, rodidla stav na odiv!“

  31. John Cowan says
    April 9, 2023 at 1:27 am

    GT does interesting things with the last sentence (in quotation marks):

    pl: “Only a fool and a scoundrel disregards the genitals, because it is most fashionable today to advertise the genitals!”

    de: “Anyone who doesn’t advertise private parts today is a bastard who spoils business, because today everyone is comfortable with the urogenital system.”

    cz: “Just a fool, the channel underestimates the genitalia. Don’t pay attention to the words of the nobles, mother’s state for show!”

    — all quite different. What’s more, GT suggests changes to the German: erwirbt for wirbt and Geschafft for Geschäft, with the resulting translation: “Anyone who doesn’t buy sex today is a bastard who spoils it, because today the urogenital system is pleasant for everyone.”

  32. Stan Carey says
    April 11, 2023 at 11:29 am

    This was fun. I figured it could be part of a series, and sure enough there’s a playlist of a dozen or so guess-the-language/accent/country/ethnicity videos.

  33. Hans says
    April 11, 2023 at 11:42 am

    The difference between the translations of the Polish and the German is due to differences in the original; both texts rather try to have the ditty rhyme in their respective languages than to have exactly corresponding texts. With the Czech, it looks the same to me, but my Czech is not good enough for me to judge how close the English translation is.
    Concerning GT, it gets the German text wrong.

  34. drasvi says
    April 12, 2023 at 2:40 am

    The Russian translation fell a victim of editing. PS – the post-Soviet version J – the Soviet journal version, B – the Soviet book edition.

    PS: В фойе меня встретили две прелестные девушки в одних шароварах (их бюсты были расписаны незабудками и подснежниками) и вручили сверкающий глянцем проспект. Не взглянув на него, я вошел в пустой еще зал; при виде накрытых столов у меня перехватило дыхание. Не потому, что они ломились от яств, нет – шокировали формы всех закусок без исключения; даже салаты имели вид гениталиев. Обман зрения полностью исключался, ибо невидимые глазу динамики грянули популярный в определенных кругах шлягер: «Лишь кретины и каналии ненавидят гениталии, нынче всюду стало модно славить орган детородный!»

    J: ….Не потому, что они ломились от яств, нет – шокировали формы всех закусок без исключения; даже салаты имели вид гениталий. Обман зрения полностью исключался, ибо невидимые глазу динамики грянули популярный в определенных кругах шлягер: «Прочь кретинов и каналий, что не любят гениталий, нынче всюду стало модно славить орган детородный!»

    B: ….Не потому, что они ломились от яств, нет: все блюда без исключения имели форму гениталий. Обман зрения исключался, ибо невидимые глазу динамики грянули популярный в определенных кругах шлягер: «Прочь кретинов и каналий, что не любят вакханалий!»

  35. Y says
    April 12, 2023 at 2:50 am

    The best explanation of dialect vs. language since Weinreich, here.

  36. drasvi says
    April 12, 2023 at 2:51 am

    I read J.

    For some reason PS edition preserved Polish genitaliów.

  37. Alex K. says
    April 12, 2023 at 3:38 am

    @Y: “Inside info from a company that builds custom pipe organs for churches is that those guys know every double-entendre organ joke there is.”

    It wouldn’t work in Russian, curiously, because of the stress. The spleen is an óрган; the Pravda was an óрган (of the Communist Party’s Central Committee); the NKVD (later the KGB) was referred to as óрганы; but the musical instrument is called оргáн.

  38. Hans says
    April 13, 2023 at 9:42 pm

    It doesn’t work in German either; the body part and the media outlet are das Organ, but the musical instrument is die Orgel.

  39. drasvi says
    April 14, 2023 at 5:38 pm

    Some time ago I discovered that someone* is removing Asmahan’s videos from youtube.
    Just found that someone* uploaded ليالي الأنس في فيينا (WP google translated) to the archive.

    *different someones

  40. drasvi says
    April 14, 2023 at 6:56 pm

    (A mindless comment. They were singing Asmahan’s song, and I find this situation with youtube crazy)

  41. David Marjanović says
    May 14, 2023 at 12:06 pm

    The best explanation of dialect vs. language since Weinreich, here.

    Oh, that is great. It’s rather China-specific, though.

  42. drasvi says
    May 14, 2023 at 3:32 pm

    But is not it also true for those of Klingons who use Chinese characters as logograms?

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