Translation Comparison: The White Guard.

I love translation comparisons, and Erik McDonald’s XIX век has another one (cf. last year’s Translation Comparison: Fathers and Sons), confronting the three English translations of Bulgakov’s Белая гвардия (The White Guard): those by Michael Glenny (1971), Marian Schwartz (2008), and Roger Cockrell (2012). He breaks his post into sections titled Medieval Kyivan allusions, How Nai-Turs and Talberg speak, Ukrainian speech in the Russian text, Characters trying to Ukrainianize themselves, Things doing things, Dividing the novel into parts, and Shattering the City; most of them are self-explanatory, but the fourth one focuses on the “whale” (кит/кіт) passage I mention at the end of my own post on the novel, and the last is about allusions to the Book of Revelation — he links to “Is Apocalyptic Kiev Still Apocalyptic Kiev in English Translations of Mikhail Bulgakov’s Novel The White Guard?” (Sic 10.2 [April 2020], open access) by Petra Žagar-Šoštarić and Natalia Kaloh Vid, which I found extremely interesting:

Our analysis of allusions in The White Guard is based on allusions to the apocalyptic prophecy as presented in the Book of Revelation[7] and, more precisely, to the parts relating to the depiction of New Jerusalem and Babylon. In what follows, we will examine thematic key-phrase allusions to the Book of Revelation[8] that contextualize the City and discuss how and if these allusions have been rendered in the translations. We will also consider whether the preferred strategy makes it possible for readers to identify the connotations of the allusions. The first question that naturally arises is that it is debatable how familiar the Book of Revelation is to present-day readers. Presumably, cultural products (e.g. films, songs, and paintings) embedded certain key elements such as the Whore of Babylon, Apocalyptic Beast, The Day of Judgement, or Apocalyptic Horses in the public consciousness, and these are hence often used allusively. However, we assume that there are less familiar textual elements such as details of New Jerusalem. It is impossible to speculate about how familiar English readers are with the Book of Revelation or to what extent the translators recognized apocalyptic allusions in the text. Hence, we suppose that some key-phrase allusions, such as the reference to the number of the apocalyptic beast, the Red star, sharp sword, gardens, and Judgement day are more familiar and evoke immediate association in the translators and readers, while others, such as precious stones, pearls, light, glass, and other features of New Jerusalem may be less obvious. In our opinion, the latter group of allusions would pose more problems for translators.

Erik singles out a passage that I too found striking:

Bulgakov tends to give the reader a sharp delineation between the City as an oasis of peace and beauty, a domestic zone that represents safety and is associated with the pre-revolutionary lifestyle and values, and the alien zone of the City’s outskirts and countryside, the steppe, as the embodiment of barbarianism, violence, and danger. What should be clear from this short passage is that the City is in danger, surrounded by purely demonizing forces. On the other hand, Bulgakov introduces the City as a beautiful, fragile, crystal-like place, establishing a key link with New Jerusalem. With the verb разбить/to break, combined with осколки/shards, the author employs an allusion to New Jerusalem, which is depicted as being made of glass […].

The comparison to glass is crucial for the successful recognition of this allusion. All three translators used different verbs, employing the strategy of reduced meaning, to render the original verb разбить, which means “to shatter/to break,” and in Russian is used primarily when referring to smashing glass or ice. Cockrell’s option “to destroy” is perhaps less successful, as it does not transfer the original’s connotation of breaking glass. The noun осколки (shards) intensifies the image of the City as vulnerable and fragile – as easily broken as glass. It is interesting that none of the translators opted for the strategy of literal translation with the word ‘shards’. The alternative translations with reduced meaning seem to fail in conveying the right connotations based on comparing the City to crystal and glass as in the Book of Revelation. Schwartz’s option “shreds” would be more appropriate for referring to paper or paper-like material and maybe thin fabric, while “remnants” are usually garments, fabric and sometimes flesh but never glass. Cockrell’s “rubble” also does not transfer the original meaning as it is commonly used for concrete, blocks, bricks, and stone. Another significant omission in Cockrell’s translation is the noun покой/peace, which was rendered by other translators as “tranquillity” and “peace.” Schwartz’s choice of “tranquillity” also implies serenity, an important connotation attached to the Russian original, while “peaceful,” though correct, is further from the original meaning.

If those samples intrigue you, I urge you to read both the post (a more general account) and the article (focusing on the biblical allusions); me, I think I was too hard on the novel when I read it a few years ago and I should really give it another go.